
The Journey to Self-Discovery: Uncover Your True Potential
Welcome my Queens, and Divine Kings, I always address my writings and rambles to women, but with this new project I really want to open the inclusivity meter, as these words are meant for the warrior, no matter the gender.
Regardless, welcome to our corner of the Universe! These blogs will become guides with valuable, anchoring insights sprinkled with behind the scenes of my life and the building of my newest project for Gemini Mountain. For those who are new, I’m Sam, the founder of Gemini Mountain and your newest little shadow guide!
When I started creating Gemini Mountain in 2014, I had so many dreams for where we could take our bikini loving community. I saw not only 10’s of thousands of bikinis being made and sold, but I saw people, real live people, who inspired me, who were some of the most beautiful, passionate, intelligent, driven people I ever knew existed, and they all came out of the woodworks because they loved the bikinis we made and the mission we were sharing.
I went from a stay at home mom to a boss babe with 6 people making bikinis, selling 100's of thousands worth in just a few months. I saw retreats, photoshoots, retail, I saw the world at my fingertips and then it all came crashing down in 2021.
We will dive deeper into my downfall, but all that matters is that I got to experience a warrior's true journey. I’ve experienced death, separation, trauma, abuse, debt, depression, and suicide ideation all while becoming a single mother and the sole provider to two young boys.
There were many times in the last 4 years where I didn’t know how I could go any further, but I did, and now I’m standing taller than I ever have in my entire life with the entire world back at my fingertips.
Sometimes, we have to be completely and forcefully stripped of everything we thought we knew and needed, so that we may become everything we are meant to be.
The Vision That Changed Everything
I’ll never forget in 2022, I had just been awarded a restraining order against a stalker, my business was on the verge of imploding and I came down with Covid. It was the sickest I remember ever being in my life and I was all alone with just my two boys. I remember standing in the shower, with the water just running while I stood hunched over crying and I had a vision.
Visions can also be considered your imagination, they’re just very vivid thoughts, and they pull you in like a dream, your eyes can be open or closed, it doesn't matter because you’re seeing it in your third eye.
And I got to see myself. I looked like a little Marvel character who had been beaten to an absolute pulp, I was honestly crawling, I couldn’t stand up, I was so weak but I was crawling desperately toward something. It was like a massive statue, incomprehensible in size, but it was the Universe, in a human-esq form. It was so large, I was barely able to see over its shoe, I was a mouse compared to this thing. But that’s why I was so desperate, because I had been clinging to this notion of the universe, and how the universe wouldn’t let me go through all this, all alone, for nothing, right?
When I finally reach the feet of the Universe, I’m desperate for something, a hug, some love, anything, but I was met with stone. In the vision, I remember getting to the feet thinking I had made it to salvation, but instead the Universe looked down at me, graveling, and almost took a step back, while it said, with a bit of disgust honestly, “is that all you’ve got?”
Even my delirium, I was taken back, for such a beautifully crafted ideology of the Universe, this thing met me with almost crass, I was disappointed to say the least, but it served its purpose. Because at that moment, I stopped graveling. And I stood up, I put my shoulder blades back and responded, “No, that’s not all I’ve got.”
I got out of the shower, called my uncle, asked for a few hundred bucks for a plane ticket and got my mom up to Montana within a few days. I spent another couple of weeks recovering with the help of my mom as she tended to my boys.
After recovering it wasn't long before the shedding continued. I spent another couple of years getting knocked back down, shedding absolutely everything I didn’t even know I needed to shed, but I’ll give you a little foreshadowing, I kept standing up.
And now, when I go back to that vision with the Universe, the colossal, human-like figure towering over me, well I get to look it right in the eyes. I’ve grown and when I meet with the Universe now, it looks at me with pride and almost a sense of admiration, because I was right, that wasn’t all I’ve got, I’ve got a whole lot more.
Lessons from Darkness
And as we enter a new year, a whole new wave of obstacles are about to come our way. But please note, I have an immense love for darkness now, and obstacles are not negative hindrances, but mere hurdles you must learn to gracefully jump over as you continue your route. Ebbs are an integral part of the journey, because it is in the darkness we get to learn who we truly are.
I have always identified as a warrior. From a young age my dad instilled the spiritual philosophy of martial arts in almost everything I did, from writing, to school, to sports to friends, there was always an undertone of resilience, perseverance, empathy, compassion and self-love. It’s been my guiding light through almost every hardship I have gotten the awful pleasure of experiencing. And it’s something I would be honored to instill in others, as being a warrior, a true soul warrior, is not about the battle, it’s not about winning, or beating your opponent, it’s about the journey, it’s about what you learn and how strongly you stand in who you become, that’s the only battle of true a warrior, the one with themself.
Life will never stop having obstacles or ebbs, but it is how we respond to these situations that we begin to experience what life is truly about.
So as we enter this new year, I hope this new extension of Gemini can help you stand taller, and stronger as you root in your authenticity. Sometimes in the darkness the only light we have is the one that can shine from within, hold on to your light and take a peek at the new offerings I’m creating to help you along your journey.
The first installment of offerings is our Letter Club, where I will mail you monthly letters, poems, affirmations, quotes and journal prompts directly to your mailbox. The poems are made into bookmarks with affirmations on one side and the journal prompts and quotes will come in cards that can be collected and utilized anytime.
This project is created for you, to take a piece of hope and the knowing that you are not alone when you are rooted in your authenticity. I will release journal prompts with every blog to foster introspection and inspiration in the future, but for today, this is enough to get started. To learn more about this new project, Awaken My Love, click here.
Thank you forever and always for being, it’s an honor to walk alongside you. Happy first Full Moon of 2025, and as a reminder, be gentle with yourself, you're still just learning how to be xx
In Darkness & In Light
Thanks for sharing a little glimpse into your journey, been thinking about blogging myself! in this strange social world we live in where we need everything fast and furious it’s a nice break and excuse to actually read, think, and care! Keep it up!!!
Oh this is so lovely to read! 2024 was the most challenging year of my life and I naively went into 2025 with such a “oh this is going to be my year attitude”. I feel like I’ve already been smacked down pretty hard and am really in the depths of navigating that and figuring out again what I want out of life and how to get myself out of this tomfoolery I feel like I’m currently engaged in. So your post was just such an excellent reminder that these are phases of life that we all go through and yes they can be oh so difficult, but perhaps we are growing through it into something so much bigger and unexpected. You are inspirational :)
This piece is nothing short of breathtaking. The way you weave vulnerability, resilience, and introspection into such a powerful narrative is incredible. It’s a reminder of how deeply we can rise from darkness when we root ourselves in truth and strength. Your vision with the Universe hit me right in the soul, and the way you’ve connected it to the ebbs and flows of life feels both raw and universal. Thank you for sharing this!! Your words light a fire in the hearts of anyone lucky enough to read them. I’m so excited for this new project!!